


𝓜𝓮𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓲𝓪 ❦

by xxc2207xx



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: As It Should, CEO Jeon Wonwoo, Cute Kim Mingyu, Fluff and Angst, Kim Mingyu is Whipped, M/M, NO DEATHS, Top Wonwoo of course, Top Yoon Jeonghan, dk is soooo whipped for hoshi, weird woozi fetish, working setting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:00:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24586522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxc2207xx/pseuds/xxc2207xx
Summary: Mingyu has totally fallen in love with this jerk devil-incarnate Wonwoo aka his current boss aka college friend aka university resident bad boy who confessed but Mingyu rejected when they were in 3rd year college.Will Mingyu have another chance to re-ignite his boss' infatuation or is he a little too late?
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Seokmin | DK, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 49
Kudos: 117





	1. Chapter 1

"What kind of trash is this? You call this a planning report? Even a 2nd grader can do better at this!" Wonwoo scowled as he threw the folder containing Mingyu's report to the bin.

If this was 7 months ago, Mingyu will definitely cry in the bathroom after the humiliation he got. But he got used to it. He got used to Jeon Wonwoo's devilish charm. He would lie if he says that he doesn't get hurt with the words he used/uses, but eventually he got numb enough to just let it pass. 

Besides, it's nothing compared to how he hurt him before. 

_***Flashback 3 years ago***_

**Wonwoo** : I just said "I love you" and you're thinking I'm joking right now?  
**Mingyu** : I'm sorry Won.  
**Wonwoo** : What?  
**Wonwoo** : *knelt in front of Mingyu, the mighty Jeon Wonwoo knelt* please Mingyu... I love you so much I think I'm going crazy  
**Mingyu** : Wonwoo, please get up. People are staring. They might get the wrong idea.  
**Wonwoo** : What do you mean wrong idea?!  
**Mingyu** : cmon Won.. we're good friends... I'll never deny that... but.... you don't seem to have any plans with your life. You have this grandiose view of yourself. And I'm afraid your callous actions would just bring more harm to our friendship than good things. I'm really sorry.. besides, I don't have any plans in being in a relationship right now as I need to focus on graduating on time.  
**Wonwoo** : *he starts crying already* Mingyu... I'm sorry.. I'll try to be better. Please accept me. I don't know what I'll do anymore--all I think is I really need you right now  
**Mingyu** : *gently lets go of Wonwoo's hand* I'm really sorry Wonwoo.. 

For the next 2 weeks, Wonwoo still grabbed every opportunity to tell Mingyu about his feelings but every single time, Mingyu finds a way to escape him. He even pretended to be all cutesy and mushy with Hoshi just so Wonwoo would leave him alone but Won was dauntless. So Mingyu thought of a way to make sure all lingering feelings of Wonwoo would be crushed.

On the 15th day, Wonwoo sees Mingyu & Hoshi in a cafe, all giggling and seems to be having fun. He couldn't help but sprint towards the two of them.

**Wonwoo** : So this is how you meant when you said "I don't have any plans in being in a relationship right now"?  
**Hoshi** : Bro, Wonwoo, you're clearly misunderstanding this, what are y--  
**Mingyu** : I should've been more clear on what I said Won. I don't have any plans in being in a relationship with _**YOU**_. Not now, not ever. And yes, Soonyoung is my boyfriend now.

There was an awkward silence. Mingyu was absolutely sure classic Wonwoo would either hit him, or Hoshi or the table or anyone who gets near him. But the Wonwoo he's seeing right now is a far cry from the usual Wonwoo - he has tears in his eyes, full of sadness and he slowly turned away and left the cafe.

That is the last time they saw Wonwoo until they heard the news that he went to the US to continue his studies.

_***end of flashback***_


	2. 𝓛𝓪𝓬𝓾𝓷𝓪 (n.) a blank space, a missing part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo was once head-over-heels for Mingyu, but now he seems to hate the whole of Mingyu's entirety.  
> Mingyu knows exactly why, but the people in their office are absolutely puzzled with it.

To be fair, Wonwoo is an absolute ass to almost everyone in their office. It's just that he is "especially" demonic towards Mingyu. 

But Mingyu wouldn't deny for a fact that he notices how different Wonwoo is towards Junhui, the VP for External Affairs. Well, he knows Wonwoo likes tall guys for sure. However, there is something very weird with how Wonwoo treats Junhui--he approaches Jun with a smile and is extra thoughtful with whatever they are doing. One can say it's not really that friendly-looking anymore. A little while ago, Wonwoo was fuming mad at Mingyu he thought he would actually be pierced by his deadly stares but now, he just saw Wonwoo place a coffee in Jun's desk.

Oh wait. Is Mingyu jealous? C'mon. Wonwoo knelt and cried in front of you, what is a simple iced americano from Starbucks? Daily lunch to really fancy restaurants? Mingyu? Jealous?

"ME? JEALOUS? HAHAHA. DELUSIONAL." Mingyu didn't notice that he said that out loud. A little too loud that the nearby Wonwoo heard it. Now, the very irritated Wonwoo is walking towards Mingyu's workspace with his eyebrows about to cross each other.

"Mr. Kim, if you cannot contain yourself from flirting with your boyfriend DURING work hours, please do it quietly or be decent enough to step outside. Also, there is a thing called 'SMS' that you can use. If he really cannot wait for you to finish your 8-hour work before he starts acting all mushy with you, just let him work here so you can extend your flirting to the office." Wonwoo sternly said, loud enough to be heard by other employees nearby. Mingyu wants to be suddenly swallowed whole by hell because of the humiliation but he forgot that he is actually looking at The Devil himself. So Mingyu just played with what Wonwoo said and answered "I'm sorry Mr. Jeon, my 'boyfriend' is really a clingy person and he only thinks of ways to show to me how much he loves me." With that, Wonwoo turned his back, went to his office and slammed the door while angrily murmuring to himself, "since when did he actually know how to appreciate the word _clingy_?"

Once Wonwoo left the floor, Jeonghan and Seungkwan went to Mingyu's workspace. "Why did The Devil go off at you again?" Jeonghan asked. "And did I just hear you say that you actually have a boyfriend?" Seungkwan, or Kwannie as they fondly call him, added. Mingyu blankly answered "I was trying to keep my thoughts to myself and I didn't know I said something out loud and Jeon thought I was talking to someone on my phone. And he started accusing me of flirting during work hours. So to claim the little dignity I have remaining, I tried to hurt his ego by saying it's actually my boyfriend."

Jeonghan & Kwan are both puzzled by Mingyu's last sentence. "Hurt his ego?" They almost said in unison. Mingyu was quick to realize his mistake and made up with a plausible alibi, "I mean, I wanted to slap him with the fact that I actually have a boyfriend, while he is a dry CEO who's single af." Mingyu didn't have the heart to tell his colleagues that he is partially guilty for Wonwoo's hostility towards the human race. 

"He sure is single, but I won't say he is dry. He is obviously being cozy with VP Jun outside the office. Mr. Jeon acts humane towards Junhui & Junhui only." Jeonghan said with a little smirk on his face. "Do you guys think they get awesome sex?" Kwannie added. Mingyu can definitely say he is jealous right now as thoughts of Wonwoo & Jun being wrapped around each other creeps his mind. "I'm going out for a smoke, that Devil really brings the worst in me" Mingyu said as he quickly left the two and went to the smoking area.


	3. 𝓛𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓫𝓾𝓵𝓮 (n.) a hiding place; a place of safety and comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did I really make the right choice 3 years ago?"  
> Mingyu is swamped with all his what ifs.

Mingyu kept pacing back and forth with an unlit cigarette in one hand.

_Are they really dating? Or they're just hooking up?_

Mingyu didn't notice the pair of curious eyes looking at him - the Director for Marketing, Xu Minghao. Mingyu was snapped out of his own thoughts when Minghao suddenly lit his cigarette and said, "that wouldn't light on it's own honey." Mingyu gave a nervous smile and a bow to one of his superiors.

Minghao is the typical to-die for bachelor--good looks, nice job, nice car & extremely wealthy even without working. But aside from that, he is very hard-working and good at his job that is why Mingyu admires him. "Thank you, Director Xu.", Mingyu added. However, Minghao's mood suddenly changed to very serious that it alarmed Mingyu. To his relief, Minghao suddenly bursts into laughter.

 **Minghao:** Oh my god, you should have seen your face!  
**Mingyu:** I thought you really got mad at something I did  
**Minghao:** Silly, I just thought being called "Director Xu" added 35 years to my real age. You can just call me Minghao or Hao.  
**Mingyu:** Really?  
**Minghao:** Yes, of course. We're of the same age I believe.  
**Mingyu:** whoa... you're really cool. How about 'HaoHao'?  
**Minghao:** Don't push your luck...

The two of them threw their cigarettes and were laughing while going back to the office. Mingyu knew Minghao was a great person but he didn't know he is this cool to be a friend. _That must've been a very lucky cigarette break._ Mingyu thought. His mind was finally off from thinking about Wonwoo & Junhui when the said pair passed by Minghao & Mingyu. "Hi Won!" Minghao greeted Wonwoo. "Hi Sir Jun" Mingyu said as he bowed to Junhui. Jun gave him a soft smile and suddenly asked, "Oh! We're going out for lunch because I'm craving for some pasta and Wonu suggested this new Italian place."

 **Minghao:** Oh pasta sounds good right now. I need some carbs to be honest haha  
**Junhui:** Then let's go, let's just use Wonu's car so we save time and parking  
**Minghao:** Wait I haven't asked Mingyu yet if he likes to join us haha  
**Junhui:** Oh, aren't you guys, 'together' together?  
**Minghao:** Haha that's funny.. Well, as much as I am this good-looking, I think Mingyu hasn't fallen for my charms YET.  
**Junhui:** You're still the same Hao. I thought you two were going out because you seemed to be having a good laugh  
**Wonwoo:** Right, that or maybe Mingyu actually has a boyfriend and he wouldn't want to join us for lunch

Mingyu was infuriated by the sarcastic smile Wonwoo gave after his subtle attack. He is still quite in shock with what's happening - seeing Jun & Wonwoo, Jun thinking him & Hao are together, Jun asking them out for lunch, Jun calling Wonwoo _Wonu_ in a very cheesy way, and then this pre-mature "rejection" from Wonwoo. _You used to be a theater actor Mingyu, maintain a poker face and deliver your lines. ___

"On the contrary, I would love to have some pesto right now so I think I'll be glad to join Sir Jun," Mingyu said to Junhui. Mingyu faced Wonwoo and continued, "So, if you wouldn't mind, can I eat you, I mean, eat with you, Sir ** _Wonu_**?" 

__Mingyu swears to God he has never seen a person as red as a tomato until he saw a blushing Wonwoo._ _


	4. 𝓣𝓪𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓪 (n.) things better left unsaid; matters to be passed over with silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥-𝘣𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘴, 𝘩𝘶𝘩" Wonwoo subconsciously thought when he saw Mingyu devouring the plate of pasta in front of him. 
> 
> Shit. He needs to get these little details of Mingyu off his head.

It took them around 20 minutes before arriving at the restaurant Wonwoo recommended. It was indeed fancy and elegant. There are around 4 or 5 occupied tables which just proves that the resto is quite high-end because it's lunch time. The group of four were guided towards the table near the window. Wonwoo and Jun sat beside each other while Minghao and Mingyu sat together. (Un)Luckily, Mingyu was in front of Wonwoo and upon settling down, the younger one cheekily smiled to Wonwoo. The waiter then handed them the menu.

**Minghao:** I'll have one penne arrabiata please.  
**Junhui:** Make that two, but please change the pasta to fettuccine for me please  
**Wonwoo:** I'll have one vegetable lasagna  
**Waiter:** *looks at Mingyu* and for you sir?  
**Mingyu:** Uhm, I want to order the pesto but can you make it spicy?  
**Wonwoo:** _spicy? since when did he start eating spicy food? he hates spicy food_  
**Waiter:** yes sir no problem, I'll inform our chef.  
**Minghao:** oh, and I see you have Chateau Pichon Longueville Comtesse de Lalande? Can you add a bottle too please?  
**Wonwoo:** Xu Minghao we still need to get back at the office.  
**Minghao:** oh do we now.... like when did that stop me. You can drink or not, whichever pleases you. 

Wonwoo, Junhui & Minghao collectively talked about several things. Mingyu just knew that the 3 actually met in Graduate School for sometime. He was pleased on how the pasta tasted and was enjoying his food when he noticed Wonwoo staring at him. "hmmm? Is there something wrong Mr. Jeon?" Mingyu looked up to Wonwoo. Visibly startled from being caught, Wonwoo came up with the lamest answer saying "You have rice on your cheek..." Minghao suddenly butts in and tried to wipe Mingyu's face upon realizing "Hey.. he's eating pasta." Junhui realizes the mishap that Wonwoo is currently in so he swiftly started a new topic saying "So Mingyu... how's work for you? You're still relatively new to this company right? How are the bosses treating you? Let me know if anyone is being a pain the ass and I'll talk to them okay?" Minghao instantly chuckled and said "Jun, you should talk to 'The Devil' beside you. I heard from the 7th floor people that he is turning crankier each day." Junhui then faced Wonwoo and talked to him, "Hey Wonu.... try to be nicer to your people. They might not be able to kick you out of the office but you will always be the topic of gossips!" Mingyu was suprised when Wonwoo suddenly smiled a little and gently brushed Jun's shoulder, "Sweetie, you don't need to be worried about me. They can talk all they want, it's not my problem if they can't do their jobs properly." Minghao, visibly joking, "Stop being disgustingly cute in front of me & Mingyu... we're not that level yet." Junhui, in all his handsome glory, "hey... this is how we normally talk. What can we do about it?" He then faced Mingyu and asked, "Again, sorry for thinking that you & Minghao were together. But if you don't mind me asking, are you dating someone? I heard there are a lot of people who admires you in the office. And I can clearly see why, no one can seem to resist tall, handsome Mingyu in office attire right?" _Yeah, no one. You should have seen 20-year old college Mingyu with eyeglasses. It was devastating._ Wonwoo thought to himself. Wonwoo was having a little trip down the memory lane reminiscing the little things about Mingyu when Mingyu suddenly answered, "well.. I'm not seeing anyone right now but there is someone that I'm trying to win back. That is if he is still available. But I think he is currently in a relationship already, so I guess more time for me to just focus on work?" 

Wonwoo is being torn apart from the inside while thinking, _after all these years... you still choose Soonyoung huh?_


	5. 𝓐𝓵𝓮𝔁𝓲𝓽𝓱𝔂𝓶𝓲𝓪 (n.) - the inability to recognize or describe one's own emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo has been trying to tell himself -- he's moved on from Mingyu.  
> But why does this 6ft-tall man keep finding his way back to his yearning heart?

After convincing Minghao that drinking the whole bottle of wine was not a good idea at all, Jun signaled for the waiter to bring them the check. Wonwoo, on the other hand, has been quiet ever since and Mingyu can't help but think if he said anything wrong. 

Jun was about to put in his credit card when Wonwoo grabbed his hand and put in his black card instead. Mingyu felt something sting in his heart but he's thankful Minghao is entertaining enough for him to be distracted. It's not like Minghao is a crazy drunk at all. In fact, Mingyu finds the tipsy Minghao really adorable. He's taking photos of everything around them. The plates, the glasses, the wine, the plants, the door, the windows, even their photos. He's like a on a cute photowalk, it's just that he is wearing a long-sleeves shirt, with his tie a bit loose already. "C'mon Hao, we need to go back, I have a meeting in 20 minutes." Wonwoo snorted. They went out the restaurant and headed towards the parking lot.

 **Jun:** Mingyu, I'd stay at the back because Minghao will not stop taking photos of you when he's got a little wine. Next thing we know you're reporting him for sexual harassment. You can seat in front.  
**Mingyu:** No it's okay, I can take care of Hao, it's no biggie  
**Jun:** I swear, he's so annoying. It's okay, you can sit there, Wonwoo won't bite. (Jun chuckled a bit)

Mingyu didn't have any choice as Jun and Minghao went to the back seat already. True enough, Minghao kept taking photos of Jun. And Jun, being the perky person that he is, obliged. He was happily posing for Minghao.

"Is it too cold?" A deep voice startled Mingyu as he was fondly looking at the people at the back seat. He then looked at Wonwoo whose eyes are still fixated on the road. "A bit but it's okay..." Jun heard Mingyu and said, "Wonu, it's fine, turn up the temperature. It's really a bit cold." Wonwoo slowed down and tried to change the temperature, but his peripheral view caught a bit of Mingyu's exposed right arm & wrist as he had folded the sleeves of his shirt earlier. Mingyu was looking out at the window with his hand on his chin but Wonwoo can't help but think to himself, _"Are those scars on his wrist?"_

Wonwoo was quick to collect his thoughts and went back to driving as he is worried those scars are not meant to be seen by anyone. But now, more than ever, his mind is clouded with more thoughts. But his feelings are in a more dangerous state. _Why would Mingyu, who was bright, always happy, focused, sharp, collected and had his whole life planned out during their college years will even think of ending his own life?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the short update =( i'll try to update more.  
> I'm working on another work for a sort of something. I will post once it's completed. ♥ Work has also been really demanding these days. Thank you for anyone who's still reading. ☺


	6. 𝓛'𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓵 𝓭𝓾 𝓿𝓲𝓭𝓮 - The Call of the Void

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> University Mingyu thought he got everything sorted out in life. But, is he really doing everything according to his plan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Will be comprised of Flashbacks to Mingyu’s college life  
> -May contain topics that can be triggering to others (homophobia, depression, self-harm)  
> -can be skipped and will not be significantly affecting the storyline, just a background of some things that happened to Mingyu after Wonwoo left

***Mingyu’s Senior Year in Uni***

It’s been months since Mingyu last saw Wonwoo. Well, after he turned him down, no, after he completely crushed whatever feelings Wonwoo have for him, who would even expect Wonwoo to treat him as a human?

Now, Mingyu is approaching his last year in college basically alone. _You turned down Wonwoo right? Jeon Wonwoo, the first guy you liked since first year, who made you realize your preference in life, the guy who changed for you, the guy who actually let you feel that being imperfect is okay._ , Mingyu repeatedly told himself. 

And why did he turn down Wonwoo if he has the audacity to tell how in love he is with him? When he came out as gay to his family, his dad stopped talking to him. His words to Mingyu? "Mingyu. You are gay, okay. It's not like we can put you in an institution to be cured. But please, have the decency to graduate with flying colors to make up for this mistake. Besides, I don’t think someone will ever be happy with your kind of people.” Mingyu was dumbfounded because he was so excited to tell Wonwoo how he came out and how he is ready to confess his feelings to him. But instead, after Wonwoo confessed to him, he got scared how it can affect his studies, so he turned him down to focus on his goal to prove his dad wrong. 

Mingyu has spent the rest of his senior year thinking that his father might be right. That he doesn’t deserve to be happy. He even pushed away the only person who liked him for who he is. Days went by slower and slower and Mingyu was feeling more and more empty. It would’ve been better if he felt sad or cried his hearts out. But he was feeling nothing. Like his heart & soul has been taken away from his being and he is an empty corpse dying away day by day.

His grades are still okay. He’s graduating as a cum laude. For the first time in months, Mingyu saw a gleaming hope that everything would get better in time. They were having their dinner when he told his parents that he’s a cum laude. His dad remained stoic as usual while his ever-loving mom held his hand and said her congratulations. Suddenly, his father dropped his utensils and began speaking, “You know, this is the problem. If you were more focused in your studies instead of confusing yourself with your sexuality, you could’ve been a summa cum laude.” And then he left the table. Mingyu’s mom couldn’t take it anymore so she shouted at his dad for being unfair and not accepting of Mingyu. They had a huge fight. That night, Mingyu’s long overdue tears finally fell down. He couldn’t breathe. He had no one to talk to. He’s hearing his mom loudly screaming and telling his dad how she wanted to have divorce a long-time ago if not for Mingyu. _This is great. They’re also separating because of me._ Mingyu thought to himself.

The next thing he knew, Mingyu woke up because of the blinding light on top of him and his mom crying hysterically by his side with nurses around them. “Mingyu, my son, please live for Mama. We could do this together. No one would ever make you feel unloved. Please live for Mama baby.” Mingyu’s mom said in between her tears. That is when he started to remember what happened but before he took full grasp of the situation, he lost consciousness again.

****

The following morning, Mingyu woke up on a hospital bed with a heavily bandaged wrist and his mom sleeping on the couch. He started recalling what happened the night before. Amidst his parents fighting and all his emotions finally pouring out, he got a glimpse of the cutter and thought how the physical pain of being cut can relieve the pain he is feeling in his heart. _one, two, three, six, seven_ , he already lost count how many times he cut his wrist just to make the pain in his heart go away. His mom came to his room with all her bags packed and was ready to leave with Mingyu but was welcomed with the sight of her only child covered in his own blood and unconscious on his bed.

Mingyu’s mom woke up and saw Mingyu staring at her with tears in his eyes.

 **Mingyu:** Ma... I’m sorry. I’m sorry for worrying you. I’m sorry for being like this. I-I’m sorry for being gay.  
**Mom:** My baby... you don’t need to be sorry. If there is someone to be sorry here, that would be me. I didn’t defend you enough from your dad. If I was a better mother, I would’ve made you feel all the love and acceptance that you need. But this is my fault.  
**Mingyu:** I’m sorry Ma... I don’t have anyone else to go to. Won.. Wonwoo left me. He said he loves me Ma. But I pushed him away... And no one has been there for me ever since.  
**Mom:** I’m sorry for not being there for you. From now on, you can come to me for all the help that you need. You can cry your hearts out, curse, or if you just want someone to tell how your day was, you can come to me.

And for the first time since Wonwoo left, Mingyu felt that he is not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **thanks for reading!!! I hope everyone is doing okay amidst this pandemic and you can send me a comment or message if you need someone to talk to. 🤍


	7. 𝓨𝓾𝓰𝓮𝓷 (n). a profound awareness of the universe that triggers feelings too deep or mysterious for words.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Why did you do it?_
> 
> Wonwoo asked Mingyu softly. Almost a whisper.  
> But Mingyu didn't answer.  
> Instead, he pulled Wonwoo by the nape and planted a long-overdue kiss.

After they went back to the office, they all did their respective jobs.

_Knock, Knock._

Jun smilingly uttered as he is already inside Wonwoo's office. 

**Jun** : so, are you gonna tell me what's wrong or you're gonna let me jump into conclusions yet again, Wonu?  
 **Wonwoo** : what? nothing's wrong Jun.   
**Jun** : ohh.. so Mingyu just sat beside you inside a car and now you haven't shown any emotion for the past 3 hours after we went back to the office? You know, people would notice if you don't get pissed off about something every 15 minutes.  
 **Wonwoo** : You really do know me, don't you Junhui?  
 **Jun** : Of course, Jeon Wonwoo. Memorized down to the last detail. Now, tell me what's wrong or I would stop whatever show you dragged me into that has been keeping me from getting dicked. Getting Minghao's dick to be specific.

******

Mingyu is starting to get anxious as Wonwoo hasn't been scolding anyone ever since they came back. Even Jeonghan and Kwannie have been messaging on their KKT asking what happened and if Wonwoo is in a particularly good mood as they wanted to apply for vacation leaves. Mingyu didn't know what to say. _No he didn't. He probably didn't see it.._ He kept thinking to himself. The last thing he would want Wonwoo to know about him is what happened after Wonwoo left. Because knowing Wonwoo, he would blame himself for everything. And there is absolutely no one to blame but himself, Kim Mingyu - the one who broke Wonwoo's heart, the one who caused his parents' marriage to fail, the one who had the passion but never had a lasting job after graduating as a cum laude. The one who is still in a limbo of emotions, including his love for Wonwoo that never left him. Mingyu had hundreds of thoughts running through his mind on how he would explain to Wonwoo in case he did see his scars. Too many thoughts that Mingyu didn't notice that it's already 9PM and he is the only one left in the office. _Shit, the last van leaves at 9:30PM,_ he cursed under his breath. He hurriedly cleared his desk and packed his bag. If he hails a cab, he can arrive before the last van departs. He was basically rushing going out the office only to be stopped on his tracks as he stepped outside the building. _Oh great. Now is a perfect time to rain THIS hard._ Mingyu started checking on his phone how much it would be if he books a cab from the office to his apartment and of course, it would cost him almost 10 times if he would ride the van. He went to the covered smoking area and lit a cigarette as he prayed to the heavens to either catch a workmate he knows or miraculously have a cab at this hour that would drop someone to their office. 

Mingyu was busy puffing his cigarette looking at the ground when he suddenly saw a pair of Suede black shoes that stopped in front of him and said, “Let’s go Mingyu. It’s getting late.”

******

Wonwoo had a late night conference since his partners were in the United States so he left his office about 10 minutes after 9PM. When the valet attendant gave his keys to him, he quickly saw Mingyu in the smoking area, slouching, and fiddling with his feet. _Alright, he still slouch and fiddle. That’s adorable._ But Wonwoo can’t help but notice how much of a smoker Mingyu has been. If someone knows him from college, he would definitely be the last person you would think who has a vice at all. He knew Mingyu didn’t have a car and at the condition of the rain right now, there is a big chance he would either spend a lot of money to go home or sleep in the office. Wonwoo didn’t know what dragged him towards Mingyu, who was still looking at the ground and puffing his cigarette.

**Wonwoo** :Let’s go Mingyu, it’s getting late.  
 **Mingyu** : Oh sir Wonwoo. No, no. It’s okay. The rain would probably stop anytime now.  
 _*thunder roars heavily and lightning sparked in the sky*_  
 **Wonwoo** : Right, I think the rain would stop and it would turn into an actual typhoon in about an hour. Get in the car, Mingyu. You will prob-- 

Mingyu is afraid, no, Mingyu is terrified of lightning. So even before Wonwoo finished his sentence, Mingyu already ran towards the passenger seat of Wonwoo’s car. Wonwoo smirked and looked up to the sky and said, “Thank you?” 

When Wonwoo got in the car, Mingyu just finished drying himself and like on impulse, he folded the sleeves of his wet long sleeves and took some tissue from his bag and wiped Wonwoo’s face. Visibly startled how close Mingyu’s face is to him right now, Wonwoo faked a cough to hide how red his face is, but Mingyu, still as clueless as ever, even scolded him saying, “See? You’re coughing now. You didn’t need to step out of the car for me.” Mingyu continued wiping his face when Wonwoo’s eyes suddenly shifted to Mingyu’s exposed wrist. Finally understanding what’s happening, Mingyu quickly went back to his seat only to feel Wonwoo gently pulling him closer while caressing the scars on his wrist. 

Years being apart doesn’t seem to matter to Wonwoo now. It doesn’t even matter how Mingyu broke his heart a long time ago. He just wants to know what happened to his bright, bubbly, sunshine Mingyu after he left. 

_“Why? Why did you do this?”_

Wonwoo can’t help himself as tears started flowing from his eyes while he held Mingyu’s hands closer to his cheeks. “Mingyu, what happened when I left? I thought you would be happier without me? But were you in so much pain? What was the reason? Tell me Mingyu, I beg you. I can’t even get myself to breathe normally knowing how hard it must've been for you to do this.” Wonwoo continued, as he was sobbing now while still pressing Mingyu’s hands to his face.

Unable to come up with words to say, he cupped Wonwoo’s face and wiped his tears using his hand. He didn’t even bother to answer Wonwoo’s question but instead, he held Wonwoo’s nape and pulled him closer to him and planted a long overdue kiss. Wonwoo was startled at first but he grabbed Mingyu by the waist to pull him closer and they continued to share a deeper kiss while tears flowed from both their faces. 

“Wonwoo, my life turned into an empty shell when you left. I was soulless. I was too dumb to turn you down were in fact, I was already in love with you way before you confessed to me. Because I was a coward. I was afraid my life would be messier if I held on to us. But hell, I was wrong. When you left, you took the most important part of me with you. My heart.” Mingyu said after pulling away from the kiss. But it didn’t last long. Wonwoo pulled him closer again and locked their lips for the second time in a span of 3 minutes. But now, Wonwoo’s kiss is hungrier, rougher. Like he has been keeping himself from kissing Mingyu after he saw him during that new hire orientation. Or that urge to kiss him back in college whenever Mingyu falls asleep while studying. Mingyu was not holding back either. He opened his mouth granting access to Wonwoo’s sleek tongue and they shared a lustful kiss to make up for the years of pining for each other. They were already getting in the heat of the moment, touching each other, when suddenly, the parking attendant knocked on Wonwoo’s window. _Thank God for tinted windows._ They quickly fixed themselves before Wonwoo rolled down his window.

**Wonwoo** : Yes?  
 **Parking Attendant** : Is there something wrong with your car sir? Because I noticed you haven’t left yet. Do I need to call a mechanic?  
 **Wonwoo** : Uhhh. No, we’re good. Thanks for checking.

The parking attendant just nodded and Wonwoo closed the car window. He started driving and asked Mingyu to put his address on the GPS. They were sharing an awkward silence when Wonwoo suddenly opened his hand, offered it to Mingyu and said, “You can at least hold my hand while I’m driving you home, you know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Sorry it took so long. Lots happened =( idek if anyone is still reading but hyg! ♥


	8. 𝓔𝓹𝓱𝓮𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓵 (adj.) lasting for a short period of time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo thought that they can finally start writing chapters of their story but it seems like an old character from their past is still a part of Mingyu's present. 
> 
> "Bold of me to assume that Mingyu is fully mine I guess." Wonwoo said to himself as he sped off that damned place.

To say that Mingyu is happy is an understatement.

Here he is with Wonwoo, holding hands, right after they vent out all their suppressed feelings and emotions through the years. How lucky he is that Wonwoo never changed right? But one thing is still puzzling him.

Mingyu: So… sir won--  
Wonwoo: Really? Sir Wonwoo?  
Mingyu: Sorry, force of habit. And by the way, can I just tell you how demonic you have been to me for the past months?  
Wonwoo: Did you really expect me to welcome you with open arms and do that kneeling ordain all over again????? OKAY FINE I ALMOST DID.  
Mingyu: hahaha. No, not that. Anyway, I just wanted to ask. Are you and sir Jun… you know. The gossips.  
Wonwoo: That we were screwing each other? Hell naw. But it’s a story for another time. Can you please just give me a break and enjoy this moment? I’ve waited for YEARS Gyu and now you’re asking me about another guy? Cmon…

Mingyu chuckled on how familiar Wonwoo’s reaction is. This is the Wonwoo he fell in love with. The Wonwoo who was so transparent about everything. The Wonwoo who never failed to make him a priority.

A few minutes passed and Mingyu told Wonwoo to turn right and stop at the first gate of which looks like a simple apartment complex. Wonwoo was still holding his hand when they pulled over and Wonwoo leaned in for a kiss that Mingyu happily returned. “Are you sure you don’t like staying at my place tonight? We got years of catching up to do. Or I can stay at yours if you like.”, Wonwoo playfully asked. “We both got soaked in the rain earlier and we have work tomorrow” Mingyu answered. Wonwoo then pouted like a kid while saying, “I’m the CEO you know.” But Mingyu said, “Yes, and I am an employee of less than a year who has tons of pending jobs to do,” then gave Wonwoo a quick peck on the lips. It WAS supposed to be a quick peck but Wonwoo grabbed his waist and made the kiss deeper. Mingyu already had his hands on Wonwoo’s nape when suddenly Wonwoo pulled back teasingly and said “Okay model employee of the year. That’s enough for tonight.Take care of that hard thing in your pants on your own. You turned me down, remember?” Mingyu just shook his head and got out of the car. Wonwoo only left when he saw the gate close behind Mingyu. He switched on the car and started driving.

Wonwoo was still around Mingyu’s area when a car high-beamed him that made him utter a little ‘what the fuck is wrong with this guy’. He rolled down the window as the other car was passing by his side to throw some words at the driver only to see the man’s arm dangling on the window with a bottle of beer. But the beer didn’t actually get Wonwoo’s attention. The blonde guy looked incredibly familiar and gave him a flashback and a slight tug on his chest.

It was Hoshi.


	9. 𝓒𝓪𝓲𝓶 (n.) lit. "sanctuary"; an invisible circle of protection drawn around the body with the hand, that reminds you that your are safe and loved, even in the darkest times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu is happy, but would he still be happy until tomorrow?  
> Wonwoo is jealous, but is there really something to be jealous about?
> 
> Why does Hoshi & Junhui always get entangled every time things are falling back to place?

Mingyu had just closed his door when he heard a familiar honk coming from outside. “Hoshi…”, he whispered to himself. He looked out his window and saw Hoshi’s car outside their gate and there he is, on the driver’s seat, with what he presumes is a bottle of Heineken. Mingyu sighed deeply as he didn’t even bother changing his clothes and went out to open the gate for Hoshi. “Gonna be a rough night again, Kim Mingyu.", he said to himself.

**Hoshi:** Mingyu…  
**Mingyu:** How many times do I have to tell you to just take a cab when you’ve had a drink?  
**Hoshi:** Mingyu…  
**Mingyu:** Yea, it doesn’t matter where you and Woozi have done it, you could’ve had sex in a haunted house for all I care, but driving with alcohol in your system is irresponsible for yourself and for others!!!  
**Hoshi:** Mingyu…  
**Mingyu:** Mingyu what?!  
**Hoshi:** Woozi ended it.

Mingyu was not facing Hoshi as he was nagging him because he was busy closing the gate but Hoshi’s last sentence made him stop on his tracks and look at his best friend. As he turns around, he sees a sobbing Hoshi. Very different from all the emotional Hoshi he used to take care of whenever he comes to Mingyu for refuge after a sex night with his fuck buddy, Woozi. 

Mingyu has known Hoshi since college (close enough for him to be used by the in-denial Mingyu for getting rid of Wonwoo). After Mingyu’s emotional rollercoaster in college, the two met up again by chance and they were as close as ever. There were times Mingyu would have sudden panic attacks when his past memories would come back and it was Hoshi that he would call whenever his Mom was not in town. Hoshi already knew the drill to calm Mingyu down - hold his hand, sing 'Fix You' by Coldplay, and then Ben & Jerry's. If it doesn't work, they would go schedule the earliest appointment for Mingyu's psychiatrist. Hoshi is one of Mingyu’s saviors.

When Mingyu met Hoshi after graduation, Hoshi was already in a very complicated ‘relationship’ to the musical director in the Entertainment Agency Hoshi is working at. Woozi doesn’t do relationships while Hoshi falls in love with him at first sight. He fell so hard for Woozi that he confessed to him only 2 weeks after meeting him. To which Woozi blatantly rejected. But when Woozi told Hoshi that he is open to be sexual partners with him, no strings attached, even Hoshi himself was surprised that he agreed. “I must be out of my mind, or I may just be so in love with him right now, this shall pass,” Hoshi told himself that time, thinking that he will also lose interest when he gets to see how emotionless that relationship would be.

Woozi have a particular liking though. He likes having sex with Hoshi (and he’s incredibly good with it) but he turns into a bigger monster in bed if they do it while Hoshi is intoxicated. There was this particular time that Woozi picked up Hoshi from a victory party upon wrapping up a musical so Hoshi had a few drinks. The moment Hoshi went inside Woozi’s car, the faint smell of alcohol invited Woozi as he said a soft ‘Hi..’, Woozi couldn’t help it and made a sharp turn back to the parking lot and crazily reclined Hoshi’s seat after unbuckling his seatbelt. “Damn Hosh… You look so fucking hot right now. I wanna fuck you raw tonight.. Can I?” Woozi said in between craving, deep kisses and showering Hoshi’s neck with love bites and lustful strokes of tongue. Hoshi, partly drunk but sober enough to understand that he might’ve just found out the fetish of Woozi he was so curious about, didn’t even bother asking but instead, he pushed Woozi down to make him suck him first. And boy, was that a good decision. Woozi didn’t leave any part of Hoshi’s body dry, as his sinful tongue played with Hoshi in ways Hoshi couldn’t even describe in words. The car was only filled with Hoshi’s curses and dirty words as he grabbed Woozi’s hair whilst the latter was bobbing up and down his dick. True enough, Woozi didn't even bother prepping him and he went right in. Hoshi swears to God he saw stars that moment--he’s not sure for what though. Maybe it was the physical pain? Or because of the ecstasy brought by the only thing the love of his life can give him---lust. 

That is where Mingyu comes in. Every night, after whatever Hoshi and Woozi did, Hoshi would attempt to open up his feelings again and intentions to have an actual relationship with Woozi, to which the latter would just laugh at. “Cmon Hosh… you knew it the moment we started this. I’m just here for the sex. Yeah you like me, but I never gave the assurance that I can ever like you back. We can continue to fuck, but cmon, stop making it awkward.” Woozi’s words tasted like hangover soup that's enough to make Hoshi sober and go knocking at Mingyu’s door to just spend the rest of the night crying over his one-sided love for Woozi. But tonight, Hoshi said that Woozi ended it. 

*****

“Fck Kim Mingyu. He was all about ‘We have work tomorrow’ blah blah, but in the end, he had his lover coming in. What was all the cheesy confession about? To have it lighter at work? To play with me again? Not again Mingyu. Fuck you,” Wonwoo continuously cursed as he drove home after passing by Hoshi. He was so happy the moment Mingyu told him that it was never a one-sided love just to see Hoshi coming back again in the picture.

*beep*

Wonwoo received a text message from Mingyu but he deleted it right away before even reading it. He then dialled Jun’s number.

 **Jun:** What’s up Wonu?  
**Wonwoo** : Where are you?  
**Jun:** Uh, at home?  
**Wonwoo** Can we meet later?  
**Jun:** For what?  
**Wonwoo** : Cmon… your unit is right beside my unit. Can’t you give me a break…. It’s a long day.  
**Jun:** Okay, baby Wonu. Does my dear want this slave to cook anything?  
**Wonwoo** : Don’t be too dramatic.  
**Jun:** Oh God, you’re on your period. I’ll just order pizza.  
**Wonwoo** : Thanks. Be there in 20.  
Wonwoo ended the call still pissed off with what happened. How can Hoshi beat him all the time? Was he never enough for Mingyu? His thoughts were clouded that he didn’t notice he’s already at the car park of his building. His phone kept ringing--it was Mingyu. He didn’t even bother answering it and just let it ring continuously. 

****

Jun was shaking his head while looking at his phone. Jun met Wonwoo in the US in the worst shape - alone in a foreign country, filled with hatred and of course, heart-broken. It took Jun weeks before he was even able to ask Wonwoo to have lunch together. Wonwoo was still reserved that time but was slowly loosening up a bit already. You know that trick worked? Jun saw a stray cat, took a photo and sent it to Wonwoo with the message “You look exactly like this cat, but he’s slightly friendlier.” to which Wonwoo replied for the first time, “It looks like a stray cat, did you bring him home? Did you even feed him?” That is when Jun realized that they can actually have a decent friendship - thanks to cats. 

Months have passed, Wonwoo and Junhui became close, though Wonwoo still is a bit guarded but he smiles more often that time. When Jun’s fling dumped him saying, “you’re in love with that new guy right?”, Junhui seriously thought to himself if he was indeed in love with Wonwoo. But after tedious hours of thinking, he realized that Wonu is the closest thing to a brother for him. Yes, he might’ve had a little crush on him when they first met, but it was his curiosity as to what is the story of this guy in eyeglasses that drew him near to Wonwoo. He was sure that Wonwoo was nothing more than a friend to him.

They were enjoying their college lives when tragedy struck Junhui’s family. His father died suddenly of a heart attack and his mother is trying to scramble whatever is left with their company that was close to bankruptcy. Junhui can’t even go to China to see his father for the last time because there were several countries on lockdown. He was devastated. He had already decided to quit graduate school and just start working to help out his mom and minimize their expenses as their Uni is not the cheapest one there is, but Wonwoo almost punched him and said, “I was just waiting for you to ask help from me. Was I ever a friend to you? You were there for me when I couldn’t even bear to survive a day without crying, and now that you’re in your worst phase, you’re telling me you would just quit to get over it alone? Well fuck you Wen Junhui. I don’t do that to my friends. You will continue studying even if I need to pay for your tuition using my allowance and I would ask Dad if he knows investors in China who could find ways to save your company. Okay? Don’t ever think you can get rid of me. I am your friend. I’m not just an acquaintance who loves cats like you do.” 

Junhui chuckled at the memory as he recalled just hugging Wonwoo while uncontrollably sobbing while the latter was just boastfully rubbing his back while saying, “Jun, you’re the only one I allowed to call me Wonu. You know I just don’t let anyone give me nicknames. And cmon, I’m your handsome, rich friend. I can make things work. Well, my dad is the rich one now, but I’ll work hard to be as rich as him. No, we’ll work hard together to be successful. You don’t have a choice. The moment you sent me that cat photo, you just gained an irreplaceable friend for lifetime.” 

And so they went back home after graduating and Wonwoo absorbed the company of his father and asked, no, ordered Jun to work as a VP for him. Minghao was an old buddy from Uni so when they heard he was in town as well, they contacted him and offered him a position. To which Jun was so excited about as he had always had a crush on this talented Chinese guy. He was actually about to ask him out when Mingyu was hired in the company and Wonwoo begged for his help to keep them as far away as possible from each other. And of course, it resulted in several hilarious gossips in the office, like they were sleeping with each other, they were living in, they’ve been secretly married, etc. A serious headache (& dick-ache) for Junhui, for real. But, if this is the only way for his good friend to be comfortable in their work, then Mr. Xu Minghao can probably wait.

****

When Wonwoo arrived home, Junhui was already sitting on his couch watching the Texas Chainsaw massacre with a grin on his face. “You know, if other people would ever see you watching these sinister movies, they would think you have psychopathic tendencies.” Wonwoo announced as he dropped his things on the table. To which Jun just mockingly smirked at and said, “You look sticky, go wash up before the pizza arrives.” Wonwoo just raised his hand in affirmation and went straight to his room. 

When the pizza delivery man arrived, the credit card machine seemed to be faulty and Jun didn’t have any cash. So he shouted to Wonwoo that he’ll just get cash from his wallet and after Wonwoo answered, he went to Wonwoo’s things, grabbed his wallet and paid for the food. When Jun was about to put Wonwoo’s wallet back, he saw the latter’s phone:

_Mingyu (5) missed calls  
Mingyu (3) messages_

While he was holding Wonwoo’s phone, it lit up and Mingyu’s name appeared. A naughty smile painted on Junhui’s face that made him utter “now, let’s see what the heck is happening with these two.”

**Mingyu:** Sir Won-- I mean Wons!!!! Why did you just answer now? I was so worried if you got into an accident or whatever because the floor was slippery after the rain and it’s my fault because my area was not that lighted and--

 **Jun:** Oh hi Mingyu!  
**Mingyu:** _*silence*_  
**Jun:** It’s me, Junhui! How are you?  
**Mingyu:** Oh... h-hi sir Junhui…  
**Jun:** Sorry, Wonu is in the shower right now. He arrived not so long ago and you don’t need to be worried, he’s still in one piece.  
**Mingyu:** t-then that’s great to hear. I’m sorry for over-reacting..  
**Jun:** No it’s fine. Wonu is all tough on the outside but believe me, he always needs babying. He told me he had a long day and was all pouty.  
**Mingyu:** I think so too.. Also I-I didn’t know you live together Sir Jun. Sorry for being a nuisance to both of you.  
**Jun:** You’re not a nuisance Mingyu! Wonu is really kind-hearted to everyone, he just looks angry-constipated all the time but he’s okay. And… I thought everyone in the office knew we lived together--

_***toot toot toot*** _

**Jun:** \--on the same building.

Wonwoo’s phone died before Junhui was able to complete his sentence. 

“Damn… you might have created unnecessary conflict, Wen Junhui,” Jun whispered to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -really sorry for the long hold :( but i kinda felt that the story is not interesting for anyone anymore :(  
> -whatever happens, this has been on my draft and i just added some to give light to WonHui & SoonGyu relationship. ♥
> 
> EDIT
> 
> -OH NO :< THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE KIND WORDS HUHUHU It actually boosted my confidence. huhuhu. Thank you!!!


	10. 𝓓𝔂𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓪 (n). the state of finding it hard to get out of the bed in the morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Good morning Sir Jeon." Mingyu greeted.  
> "Hmm." Wonwoo answered.
> 
> Both hurt.  
> Both mad.  
> Who's gonna make the first move?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // panic attack

Mingyu woke up with a throbbing headache. He barely had 3 hours of sleep because Hoshi was bawling his eyes out until 4 in the morning and the only thing he could do was join him in drinking some beer. After all, he badly needed a drink too after that short conversation with Junhui.

Was Wonwoo just toying with him? As a revenge for what he did back then? Why did it feel so real? But why are they living together? And Junhui can answer his phone when he’s in the shower? Can they be more domestic?

“What did the hotdog ever do to you for you to cut it to tidbits? And why are you so loud at 6AM?”, Hoshi snarled as he rolled over on the couch. “This hotdog, nothing. But Jeon Wonwoo. I don’t know. But maybe I deserve this? Do you think so Hosh?” Mingyu asked Hoshi. But Hoshi only murmured something inaudible which made Mingyu walk towards him. “Get! The! Fuck! Up! Can’t you see I’m having a crisis here??” Mingyu said while continuously hitting Hoshi with the pillow. Mingyu was so sure they had something intimate going on on last night’s car ride and confessions (almost led to something else to be exact). But maybe he was just drowning from years of hazy thoughts that when Wonwoo showed a little gleam of hope, he thought it was something else. Besides, when he asked Wonwoo about Jun, he said it was for another time. Maybe it was just him who assumed things can go 100% back to normal. 

\-----

Wonwoo was quietly having his coffee while recalling the conversation that he had with Junhui last night. But why does he care? Maybe Mingyu just wanted to check on him if he safely went home? Besides, Mingyu had Hoshi staying for the night. What role would Wonwoo even play in the picture? He is definitely sane enough to not be a side chick. Or is he? “Ahhh shit. No Wonwoo. You’re better at this. Years of pining didn’t prepare you to just come back crawling to Mingyu to be an option.”, Wonwoo said to himself. He then started preparing to go to the office. In his mind, it’s not that hard to go back to pretending not to know Mingyu.

\------

“Hey…. I saw Sir Jeon in the parking lot earlier and he looked like an ostrich had shit on his coffee. He looks extra pissy today. Better be on your toes Mingyu,” Jeonghan not so subtly whispered while peeping on Mingyu’s desk. “Well, what’s new with that.” Mingyu snorted. Jeonghan just gave him a mocking tap on the shoulders while shaking his head as if saying,’You’re gonna have one hell of a shitty day Mingyu.’ As if Mingyu doesn’t know that enough.

Everyone greeted Wonwoo when he came to the office and he just said his blank “Morning” to everyone. 

Mingyu: Good Morning, Sir Jeon.  
Wonwoo: Hmmm.

Mingyu was astonished. Well, here he was, thinking that maybe Wonwoo has some kind of explanation as to why Junhui answered his phone AND THE FACT THAT THEY WERE LIVING TOGETHER. But now, he had the audacity to treat Mingyu coldly. Then maybe, last night in the car was just a fever dream or a sudden surge of Wonwoo’s past feeling to Mingyu. “Whatever.” Mingyu said as he started to prepare for the town hall meeting in 20 minutes. 

\----

The meeting was quite an important one as it is about the merger they’ll have to one of the biggest entertainment agencies in the country. It was so important that even Wonwoo was talking to Mingyu casually just to make sure everything was sorted out. Mingyu’s direct boss, Seungcheol, was grilled by Wonwoo and the other members of the leadership for making Mingyu do the task of directly talking to the executives of the other company. Not that Mingyu was not efficient on that job, but they were worried that the other company might think that they were not taking this merger seriously and not someone from the higher ups were contacting them. After the meeting had ended, Mingyu saw Seungcheol receive one last round of scolding from Wonwoo before he left the latter’s office and with a dim face, he went to his own office. A few minutes had passed and Seungcheol sent him an IM saying, “Please come to my office now.”

You see, Seungcheol was the typical boss. Gives you tons of jobs, praises you when you do a good job, reprimands you if you fail. Mingyu always thought that he could appreciate a lesser workload but thinking how he could have had a Wonwoo-like direct superior, he can say he’s thankful for Seungcheol, or Sir SC as they call him. 

Mingyu: Yes sir? You wanted to see me.  
Seungcheol: Yes Mingyu. Take a seat.

Seungcheol loosened his tie and put his hands together while pressing it on his forehead. Mingyu doesn’t know if he’s praying or he’s trying to calm down after being scolded harshly a few minutes ago. He then started speaking.

Seungcheol: Do you know why I give you lots of work here Mingyu?  
Mingyu: I don’t think that’s too much sir, I think everyone has the same. You give us the same workload.  
Seungcheol: Don’t patronize me.  
Mingyu: No Sir SC I---  
Seungcheol: Don’t bullshit me Mingyu. I thought you were competent enough that’s why I was giving you those jobs. To hone you. But I might’ve overestimated your abilities. Maybe you were not good enough. No scratch that, you’re not good enough.

Mingyu started fidgeting and playing on his nails while looking down. _You’re not good enough._ It kept playing on his head. _You’re not good enough. You could’ve been summa cum laude if you were working hard enough._ Seungcheol was not shouting, his voice low and his words piercing. Just like his father.

Seungcheol: If there is something I want to apologize for, that is thinking that giving you more workload would actually be something you would be thankful for. Not something that would question my competence as a boss. That’s it. You can go back to your work, if that’s not too much to ask from you.

Mingyu didn’t have anything to say because his thoughts are coming back that maybe Seungcheol is right. Maybe his dad was right. He was never good enough. Never good enough to be Summa Cum Laude. Never good enough to fight for Wonwoo. Never enough to save the marriage of his parents. Mingyu went straight to the washroom and was starting to black out. He washed his face and looked at himself in the mirror. “You were so dumb to think that you could actually change, loser.”, he told himself. He then dropped to his knees and started hugging them. He was starting to feel that it’s harder to breathe and all he could see was that last dinner they had as a family. His dad was screaming at his Mom. His mom was crying. He started sobbing uncontrollably while saying to himself, “I wish I was good enough for everyone, anyone.” repeatedly. His breathing became more erratic and he tried to reach for his phone in his pocket to call Hoshi as he felt something bad was about to happen to him but he didn’t even have the strength to and his pocket seemed like a bottomless pit. He started grabbing his chest and and breathed loudly when Seungkwan came into the bathroom and rushed to him. 

Seungkwan: Mingyu?! Gyu?!! What’s wrong? What happened? Oh my god are you having an asthma attack? Mingyu breathe with me..  
Mingyu:B-oo.. Boo.. I failed Sir SC. I am worthless. I don’t--  
Seungkwan: No stop saying that. Try to breathe normally. Breathe with me…

Mingyu was not looking good and Seungkwan feared that it’s actually something worse so he gently put Mingyu to rest on a safe side of the wash room and went back to their office to ask for help. He passed by Wonwoo (that was actually asking him something) like he was thin air and went straight to Jeonghan almost crying, “Han, I think Mingyu is having a panic attack!!! I don’t know what to do but I called an ambulance already. He’s on the men’s washroom floor, unable to breathe properly.”

When Wonwoo overheard Seungkwan saying Mingyu was having a panic attack and he was left alone in the washroom, he felt like a truck had hit his chest. _No Mingyu, don’t do anything stupid. God, Kim Mingyu, please be safe._ He kept thinking to himself as he ran towards the bathroom. He hurriedly opened the door and he saw Mingyu right away, breathing erratically, slouched on the floor. 

Wonwoo: Mingyu. Gyu, baby, it’s me Wons.  
Mingyu: *looks up* Wons… I’m sorry for not being enough.  
Wonwoo: No no.. Mingyu. Don’t think of anything else. Think of happy memories.. Think of…  
Mingyul: I was never good enough for you. I was… a dead-weight for you.

Wonwoo couldn’t help but cry as he was looking at Mingyu. He couldn’t do anything but hug him and caress his head. Who would even try to damage Mingyu to the point that all his sunshine will be lost?

In between sobs, Wonwoo gently said to Mingyu, “Baby… I don’t know what exactly you need right now, but let me tell you something. I never believed in loving without getting anything in return. I thought that was stupid. But you know what? I loved you, no, I have loved you since then, until now. Without even thinking if you’d ever love me back. Because loving you was everything I needed. You. Knowing that the love I have in my chest is just for Kim Mingyu was enough. Just you Kim Mingyu. Loving you is enough. Loving you was, and will always be, my anchor.”

And Mingyu started to breathe better while looking at the beautiful Jeon Wonwoo--with tears on his face but a loving smile for him. In that moment, even just for a fleeting moment, Mingyu felt enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi it's me again.  
> I guess you can say I always say sorry for not updating. =( But I really am. A lot has been going on at work, in life, and my writing. 
> 
> I don't know if someone is still waiting for this but I tried to put something that crossed my mind. I hope everyone is doing okay in all aspects.
> 
> I decided to put a cc account just for anything, https://curiouscat.qa/dayzwithgyu maybe talk to me or scold me to update more. Hehhe.
> 
> Again, thank you for the support this has been getting and I hope to do more for you guys. ♥


	11. 𝓡𝓮𝓭𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓬𝔂 (n.) - The act of loving in return PART I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "so... Wonee.. baby, huh?" Mingyu said with a playful smile.  
> Wonwoo was puzzled.  
> He didn't say anything but his eyebrows creased as if saying he doesn't understand whatever Mingyu was saying.
> 
> "FYI, I heard you called me 'Baby' multiple times. I was having a panic attack, not temporary hearing loss."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is part 1 of my poor attempt to make a 100% fluff chapter ajksdhsjfgsj

PART I

The ambulance came in about 10 minutes. However, Mingyu was already okay but just to be sure, Wonwoo accompanied him to the ambulance just to have his vital signs checked.

Jeonghan: soooo…. Why is Sir Jeon the one most frantic about Mingyu’s situation?  
Seungkwan: right? I was shocked too when I saw him calming Mingyu down when I went back to the washroom. Won’t Sir Jun feel weird about this?  
Jeonghan: Maybe.. But well, Sir Jeon might just be worried something fatal will happen to Mingyu while he’s working here.  
Seungkwan: Maybe.  
Seungkwan: Also, you might want to check on sir SC. He was pale as hell when he heard that Mingyu had a panic attack. Mingyu was in his office before I saw him in the washroom.  
Jeonghan: Hmmm.. Okay.

*******

“Wait here, I’ll ask Seungkwan to bring your things and I’ll just get my stuff.” Wonwoo ordered Mingyu as he shoved the latter to his car. “It’s fine, I’ll just rest for a bit in the clinic and I’ll get back to work,” Mingyu protested. Wonwoo looked in disbelief and said, “You know, even if I allow you to go back. Your friends might think I’m a demon spawn for letting you go back to work after having an episode.” Mingyu murmured something, “well… they don’t call you ‘demon spawn’. The Devil would actually be more appropriate.” Wonwoo didn’t get much of it and turned back to ask, “what?” To which Mingyu didn’t bother to repeat and he just said, “Go on then, I’ll just wait here. I badly need to catch up on some snooze too.” 

********

Wonwoo went back after around 15 minutes because he needed to sign some papers. When he went back to the car, Mingyu was already sleeping. His soft snores were so cute Wonwoo wanted to check if he was dreaming. “Baby… I’ll just put on your seatbelt,” Wonwoo whispered to Mingyu as he carefully straightened him out to put his seatbelt on. To his surprise, the heavily asleep Mingyu wrapped his arms around his waist as he leaned onto him to put his seatbelt. Wonwoo finished graduate school with honors but fuck all his professors, nobody told him how to handle this situation. Should he just wait until Mingyu wakes up? What if someone sees them? Should he hug him back? Should he forcefully wake up Mingyu? Hell, what if he hates him for waking him up. _“Is this the ‘gay panic’ Junhui was talking about when he sees Minghao in a turtle neck?”_ Wonwoo thought he was just thinking about it, but Mingyu suddenly scratched his eyes and uttered, “why would Sir Jun gay panic with the sight of sir Minghao in a turtle neck?” Wonwoo was tomato-red and didn't even finish either answering his question or fastening Mingyu's seatbelt. He went back to his seat and put on his own seatbelt and prayed to the heaven’s Mingyu falls back to sleep. The heavens might’ve been actually listening to him because they haven’t even left their company complex and he started hearing Mingyu’s soft snores again.

*****

“You’re so dumb Wonwoo, I can’t believe you actually tried to microwave with the spoon on.”  
“Geez… I was panicking alright, he can wake up anytime now and I haven’t cooked anything yet.”  
“Then why did you even think of cooking instead of having delivery?”  
“I didn’t think about that WEN JUNHUI CAN YOU STOP QUESTIONING ALL MY LIFE DECISIONS FOR THE PAST 2 HOURS that wasn’t me that was Wonee.”  
“Oh no Mr. Jeon Wonwoo you are so not bringing Wonee into this mess.”

Mingyu woke up with the faint bickering not so far from him. He can say those were hushed yelling but apparently, it was Wonwoo and Junhui arguing. Wonwoo & Junhui… HE IS AT WONWOO & JUNHUI’S HOUSE?

Mingyu tried to grab his things but they were nowhere in sight. He checked his self and saw that he was wearing clothes a size smaller for him. He realized that he didn’t have a choice but to get out of the room and take over the kitchen before 1) Wonwoo & Junhui kill each other over ‘Wonee’ or 2) all 3 of them die due to a freak kitchen accident. 

****

Mingyu: *coughs* uhmm… hello.  
Junhui: OH MINGYU. Thank goodness you’re awake. Do you know how to cook chicken casserole?  
Mingyu: That seems to be… very specific… but yes, I think so.  
Junhui: OH MY GOD thank you. Because this Jamie Oliver-wannabe said that’s your favorite food so he was trying to cook it. *glances over to Wonwoo who was expertly measuring the chicken stock on the measuring cup*

Mingyu was about to go to Wonwoo until he realized that he was at Wonwoo’s house. Wonwoo AND JUNHUI’S HOUSE. How awkward is this. Oh my god, why is he even here. Until Junhui told him, “Oh Mingyu, I think Wonwoo doesn’t have any cream in here. I’ll just go to my flat and see if I have some.” Mingyu asked, “Your flat?” And Junhui answered with a mocking smirk, “Oh right! You don’t have to worry about anything or be jealous, we definitely do not live together. I just live on the same floor. Geez, we didn’t even last a month as roommates in the university. I’d rather live in my car than live with that walking CT scan who checks on everything in your body before you can sit on the couch.”, then Junhui closed the door and left Wonwoo & Mingyu with a weird yet familiar silence.

*****

“So…” Both of them said as an attempt to break the silence that enveloped the house for about 2 minutes already. 

Wonwoo: You could’ve asked me you know.  
Mingyu: Ask you what?  
Wonwoo: If I’m living with Junhui. If the rumors were true.  
Mingyu: I did ask you. You shoved me off. And then he answered your phone while you were in the shower...  
Wonwoo: oh my god, are you jealous of Junhui?  
Mingyu: what, me? Jealous? Hahaha Sir Jeon you might’ve eaten a bad bread  
Wonwoo: hahaha. Nice try. But no, we don’t live together.  
Mingyu: Okay…  
Wonwoo: So, do you have any more clarifications Mr. Kim?  
Mingyu: Oh! right, where are my things? I need to call Hoshi. I haven’t informed him yet that I had an attack earlier.

Wonwoo wanted to ask, _Why? Is he your mother? Your doctor? Why do you need to tell him that?_ But he was afraid he would hear an answer that he didn't like. So he grabbed Mingyu’s things from the cabinet and handed it to him. Mingyu called Hoshi and the latter answered after two rings. 

Mingyu: Kwonnie! Hello!

Mingyu: No noooo I don’t need anything from you. What? Because I called you Kwonnie? No No. Uhm… best friend… I… I had a panic attack earlier in the of--

Mingyu: Hosh I said HAD. I’m perfectly okay now. No no, I’m not in the hospital. I’m at… Wonwoo’s house. Yes… oh God yes Hoshi, that Wonwoo. What? No. No, I swear to God Kwon Soonyoung. What? No, you don’t need to talk to him. No KWON SOONYOUNG I SWEAR TO THE HEAVENS. No! Don’t you even use the merger to get to him. I will---

Wonwoo grabbed the phone from Mingyu’s hands and stared him down as if saying, _Oh what now… why don’t you want Hoshi to talk to me?_ Mingyu just pouted and let his best friend and this smug person who happens to be the person he’s madly in love with talk. Wonwoo just uttered some, “hmmm” and “yes” & “no’s”, before he finished the conversation with, “Yes, it will be nice for us 3 to have dinner tonight, I’ll have Mingyu text my address to you. We have years of catching up to do bro. See yah.”, while his cat-like eyes were staring at Mingyu with his evil-like smirk. Wonwoo then crossed his arms in front of Mingyu and said, “So care to tell me why Hoshi doesn’t remember a single thing about being your boyfriend back in college?”

*****

Mingyu was not expecting to be grilled right then and there but thankfully, Junhui came back with the promised cream. “Thanks sir Junhui,” Mingyu said as he hurriedly went to the kitchen with the cream. “You can call me Jun when we are not in the office you know.”, Junhui interrupted him. 

Mingyu: Okay, Jun. By the way, can I ask you a question?  
Junhui: Sure! What is it?  
Mingyu: Why do you gay panic when you see Sir Minghao in a turtle-neck?

In a split second, Junhui was strawberry-red as if all the blood in his body were concentrated on his face. He didn’t have the face to answer Mingyu but he looked at Wonwoo’s direction and said, “You seem to have a death wish, Jeon Wonwoo. Even Wonee can’t save you right now you blood-sucking gay snitch.” 

Mingyu: Wonee? I’ve been hearing Wonee since you were bickering earlier. Who’s Wonee?  
Junhui: Oh payback seems too come fast nowadays, Jeon. So Mingyu, Wonee is Wonwoo’s cute counterpart. He is basically the same stoic Wonwoo, but he only talks in aegyo. Right, Wonee?

It was Wonwoo’s turn to be beet-red and Mingyu’s teasing smile was evident.

"so... Wonee.. baby, huh?" Mingyu said with a playful smile.  
Wonwoo was puzzled.  
He didn't say anything but his eyebrows creased as if saying he doesn't understand whatever Mingyu was saying.

"FYI, I heard you called me 'Baby' multiple times. I was having a panic attack, not temporary hearing loss."

\--END OF PART I--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, I was having these thoughts in my head since yesterday and I was afraid it will slip my mind in case I procrastinate and wait until I finish everything. I hope you don't mind. Thank you if you are still reading up to this point. ♥
> 
> PS. Just edited some typos 😅


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